Numb...
This post is for me. I don't want anyone's sympathy, nor do I want anyone to be offended by the shit I'm about to spin out. Re my "The universe" post: I was wrong, so fucking wrong it's almost funny. Almost. I've been soooooooooooo fucking stupid. I've done things that I should not have done. I should have been stronger. I have betrayed someone who I thought was a friend. I have complicated things for people who I love. I am the lowest of the low. To all my friends here, please do not be offended when I say I really don't want to be here right now. I don't want to be in this city. I don't want to be in this country. I'd rather be a million miles from here. I just manage to fuck things up, right royaly. I am not angry at the other people involved, I am angry at myself. I, at this stage of my life, should be stonger than this. I am sorry. I have compromised things for everyone, for the people who care about me. The soundtrack to my desolation: At the drive-in, relationship of command (for those of you who know it, you will understand). I am also very fucking drunk and feeling amazingly sorry for myself. Waaa. I didn't do drama at high school. Though I don't remember doing drama queen at high school, but I'm sure I must have.
I am drunk because I want to be numb. Numb is a good way to be. I am not a stoner, but I sort of understand the appeal. To be in a such a state that everything just washes over you. Teflon, nothing sticks to you. I am a rock. I fucking wish! I just wanted something for me, is that so wrong? I guess it was. I am so sorry to all those who have suffered the collateral damage from this. I will do my best to make it up to you, I promise.
I am just a fool,
J.
posted by J. (aka Mr Cool) at 12:03 PM
4 Comments:
The road is long with many awaiting turns
That lead us to who knows where,
who knows where
But I'm strong,
strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
So long we go
His welfare is my concern
No burden is he to bare, we'll get there
For I know
he would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
If Im laden at all,
I I am laden with sadness that
everyone's heart isn't filled with the gladness
I am alone for one and other
It's so long long road
From there is no return
while we're on the way to live why not share
And the load doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy , he's my brother
He's my brother
He ain't heavy
He's my brother
He's my brother
He ain't heavy
He's my brother
6:17 PM
i love you mr cool. wish i was there to give you a huggle. but you are always with me and i with you no matter where we are. you are a good friend. people do silly things you can't change, it's how you deal with it that makes you stronger.
9:27 PM
Thanks, willian! You made me cry, but in a good way. Thank you for your strength and thoughts.
J.
11:08 PM
Hey eyes of 'C',
The reaction to the action is something that needed to happen. It may not be the best outcome for you but interested parties needed a jolt to their system, and maybe, just maybe, it will clean things up for everyone involved.
That's what I thnk anyway.
Friendships will survive and so will you Mr Cool.
I love you and I am only wearing my undies at the moment.
Don't drink all the coffee and leave some scotch for me.
Biggs - the human ball bag.
1:20 PM
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